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Sexting: agile thumbs and ardent messages

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It’s convenient, exciting and relatively new, too. Find out what sexting is, how to do it safely and how it can become yet another sexual practice for you to enjoy.

It’s 4:00 a.m. and your phone screen lights up the room as though someone’s barged in to abduct you. Which I guess they have, in a way. Ohhh thank God, it’s just a message from your crush. They’re probably out or just getting home and, naturally, you’re on their mind. “Thinking of u”, they say, and now you’re wide awake.

What starts out as an innocent early-hours conversation ends up with messed-up bed sheets, sweat and your phone charger stretched out across the room. Forget it, you’re not going to let your battery die now.

After that “thinking of u” and the emoji you sent back, you write a cheeky “me too”.

“And…?”, they retort. “You’re hot”, you reply. “Am I? What do you like best about me?”, they ask. Finally, you take the leap and reply: “your butt 🍑”. Three minutes later, you’ve got a suggestive pic of said “butt” in underwear. “What do I get in return?”, they beg. You send a nude, casting clothes aside and leaving little to the imagination, with the sexiest face possible at that time in the morning. You’ve set the tone. This is sex, this is sexting. It. Is. Happening.

What is sexting?

The word “sexting” is a portmanteau of sex and texting. It means sending texts, images and/or videos with a sexual tone and intent via mobile phone, computer or any digital device.

Ok, I like it. How do I begin?

Speaking from experience, I’d recommend you do it alone, although sometimes things can heat up sooner than expected or at inconvenient times, like when you’re on the subway, for example. Pssst: you never know who could be looking (there are apps you can download to stop people spying on your phone).

Some people have their ammo all laid out: suggestive photos or videos ready to go, because you never know when the mood will strike. That’s one option, or you can just go with the flow: woo them the old fashioned way, you know how it goes. In my opinion, the most important thing to note is that you never go looking for these kinds of situations. Just like in a nightclub or bar, if you force it things can get awkward. Don’t be that person who sends a sexy pic before they even utter the first word, OK? You have to both be on the same page, just like in the real world.

So, let’s assume you are. The conversation is flowing. You start with a few suggestive emojis😏 before taking things up a notch 💦. Then in come the revealing photos, each with fewer and fewer clothes, and a video with a muffled “ohhh yessss!” You’re horny as hell and have to resort to typing with one hand. *Sigh* if only you had a bit of help.

 

Sexting: risk prevention

Sexting has been around as long as instant messaging, but unfortunately we were a bit late to warn people about the dangers of this new and previously unknown tool. So, although in theory your messages are private, you should know that there are ways to access conversations and files within messaging apps, which must be something the victims of privacy offences wish they’d known beforehand.

Sure, messaging apps are becoming more and more secure, but there’s one thing we will never be able to overcome: human stupidity. More and more cases are coming to light of people sharing conversations, photos or videos of third parties who once sent private material in full confidence, never expecting it to leave the confines of their chat. Forwarding is easy, but stopping it is not. And it’s spreading through user terminals like a virus: if subject 1 (the one suffering from human stupidity) sends the item to 10 friends and each of those friends shares it with 10 others, your photo is suddenly on 1,110 devices.

Now, that doesn’t mean sexting is bad or something to discard forever. There are ways to safe sext. Just as you take precautions during physical sex, you should when sexting too:

  • Don’t send photos or videos with your face in.
  • Don’t send photos or videos revealing something unique to you (like a tattoo).
  • Don’t talk in any videos.
  • Don’t give out your personal details via text.

Another way to save yourself a fright is to use apps that don’t let anyone save your picture without telling you and which delete them by default, such as Snapchat. This app doesn’t stop people from taking a screenshot, but it lets you know when they do.

What if it’s too late?!

The law is on your side. Forwarding content of this nature is punishable by law and is considered an infringement of the victim’s privacy and intimate rights. Under no circumstances is it your responsibility to safeguard the forwarded material, nor are you guilty of any crime. Consult a specialist lawyer and report it. You can find more information about sharing photos and videos without consent here.

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